


Happy Best Day of Your Life

by BeautifulUnseen



Series: Don’t Do It [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Epistolary, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulUnseen/pseuds/BeautifulUnseen
Summary: Part of the Don’t Do It verse, this installment chronicles Kurt and Blaine’s wedding as told in messages from their friends and family.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Don’t Do It [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712299
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

_From: Rachel Berry  
_ _To: Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson  
_ _Date: June 3, 2020  
_ _Subject: Your wedding present_

Kurt and Blaine,

I'm sorry it's a few days late, but you'll understand why in a minute.

Your wedding gift from all of us is a collection of emails written during and in reflection of your wedding events. We each wrote to the two of you to help chronicle the most important day of your life. You did too, actually. Surprise! The gift is in the form of email, because, duh. But I am having it printed and bound for you two to have as a keepsake as well.

I know you're off honeymooning in the Canary Islands, but we miss you back at home! Enjoy your gift from everyone!

Your friend,

Rachel Berry

* * *

_From Rachel  
__May 29, 2020  
__Wedding Rehearsal  
_Blaine and Kurt,

It's rehearsal day! Carole and I have been working on arrangements all day, and now we're at the orchard, mingling with the guests while we wait for you to arrive, Kurt. Because you're late. For your own wedding rehearsal.

It's so wonderful having everyone in one place for the first time. Mercedes and Sam are looking particularly in love, Cooper keeps hitting on Santana, Carole is hugging everyone 3 or 4 times, Thom is regaling a small audience with the tale of how he ended up on the Queer Eye float at the Pride parade this year, Burt looks so proud he's about to burst, and Troy, as usual, is fitting in perfectly.

And you, Blaine, you're literally bouncing around, radiating excitement and love.

Oh, there you are, Kurt. Rolling in 20 minutes late with Pam. But all is forgiven because we all got to see the look on Blaine's face when you walked up. It was almost as adorable as the look on your face when you saw him.

It's time to rehearse. I'll check back in later this evening.

...

Hello again! It's me, Rachel Berry. I've only been drinking a little bit, but the night is young!

The rehearsal was full of little disasters. Your flower girl and ring bearer ran off (I told you it was a terrible idea to trust Hallmark and Otis with those jobs), it downpoured the entire time, Cooper shouted wet t-shirt jokes at Kurt the whole time, and Mercedes didn't make it here until halfway through dinner, but you know what they say...bad rehearsal, good show!

Anyway, the dinner put on by all four of your parents was to die for and now the rain has stopped and we're dancing and drinking.

You two are putting on quite the spectacle, grinding up on each other while Cooper sings karaoke to Usher. Only because I'm drunk will I admit it's making me feel a little tingly.

Ha! Burt just broke you up because it was making him too uncomfortable. Santana just assigned Sam a new job for the reception tomorrow. He is now responsible for making sure neither of you two drinks too much because you're both horny drunks. Santana's words, not mine. I mean, her actual words were "horny drunk fucks who get too gropey after just one beer," but the sentiment is the same.

Anyway, the night is ending how our party nights always do. Mercedes and Sam are cuddling in a corner, Santana and Troy are yelling and crying about who knows what, Jesse and Cooper are fighting over the microphone, Tina is passed out on the table, and the two of you are nowhere to be found, though we all know what you snuck off to do. Thom and Pam and Burt and Carole are slow dancing in a lovesick delirium, which leaves me as the only sane one, as usual.

The night is winding down and we need to track you two down and take you to your respective homes for the night.

Tomorrow will be beautiful because the love you have is beautiful.

Love your friend,

Rachel Berry

* * *

_From Blaine, to Kurt  
_ _May 30, 2020  
_ _Wedding morning_

It's our wedding day. It still doesn't seem real that I get to marry you today. I'm feeling very anxious and emotional, but I know you are too. We've already pissed off Cooper and Santana with our questions for each other. They have no one to blame for this but Tina and Rachel, who thought it would be so romantic to take away our phones at the rehearsal last night so the first time we talk to each other today will be at our ceremony.

In typical Blaine fashion, I was nervous sweating before I even woke up this morning. I've applied so much antiperspirant to try to avoid looking damp in our photographs. So much. Every inch of my body is covered in the stuff. There are so many places I bet you never imagined a person could put antiperspirant. Spoiler alert: a person can put antiperspirant in his butt crack.

I don't know why I'm nervous, it's not like you're going to leave me at the altar and take off in the rental car and flee to Oklahoma, changing your identity and altering your appearance so I can't ever find you again. That would be ridiculous and not in any way my biggest fear.

No, 97% of me knows you won't do that. The other 3% has always wondered why the hell you love me. If you hadn't begun our relationship by pretending to be someone else and then falling off the face of the planet after confessing what you'd done and then come begging me for forgiveness for making me fall in love with you-but-not-you, I'd be really confused about why you want me at all.

Jokes aside, those downsides show that you truly are human, and not the flawless sex god I usually perceive you as. I need your mess ups to even the playing field a bit, because you are amazing, Kurt.

I never gave much thought to what I wanted in a lifelong partner until I met you (real you) and realized that _you_ are exactly what I want. I don't know if I do a good enough job reminding you of that. I know I must take your beauty and your quickness and your ability to protect me from anything bad for granted sometimes, but please know that I always appreciate it. I appreciate you. And I am so glad you agreed to stand by my side forever.

I'll save the rest of my words for our vows later; we both know I have so many of them.

I love you with all my heart, Kurt. Being your husband will make me the happiest man on the planet.

Sincerely,

Hoping you're not a runaway groom

* * *

_From Kurt, to Blaine  
_ _May 30, 2020  
_ _Wedding morning_

Happy best day of your life, almost-Mr. Hummel-Anderson.

I don't know why Rachel is having us send these emails to her before they go to each other, because now I can't write all the dirty things I want to say. Or maybe I should write things that would make her blush just because I know she's going to read these. Dicks. Gay sex. Blaine, I can't wait for tonight so I can fuck you in the ass.

Oh, was this supposed to be a sweet, heartfelt email? I can do that too, I guess.

I'm weirdly nervous this morning, like part of me is wondering if you're having second thoughts. You've never given me any reason to believe you're anything but sincerely devoted, though, so I'm trying not to be all emotional and worried about it. I can't stop being emotional about the rest of it, though. We're getting married today. I know we've talked about this a million times, but marriage is something I didn't know if I'd ever get to experience. It's something many gay men in the world will never get to experience. And not only am I getting married, but I'm getting married to you.

I don't think you realize this, Blaine, but so many people would kill to be in my position right now. You are a damn fine catch. You're smart and kind, hot as hell, and you gave me a second chance when I really didn't deserve one. That you've chosen me as the person to stand up there with you today is kind of mind blowing.

I'm waiting impatiently for 6:00 when I can finally see how stunningly gorgeous you look in your suit. Then later, how mouthwatering you look out of it.

I love your body, but I also love your heart and your mind. I love you, my fiancé. That's the last time I'll say it, because in a few hours, for the rest of forever, you'll be my husband instead.

Enjoy your last few hours as an unhitched man, because after tonight, you'll be mine forever, sucker!

Sincerely,

Soon to be Mr. Big Dummy™

* * *

**Getting ready - texts from Santana to Cooper**

_Cooper (7:21 am): Good morning sexy! Do you have Groom #1 in your possession?_

Santana (9:09 am): Why the hell were you awake that early? And stop flirting with me.  
Santana (9:09 am): Of course I have eyes on him. He's still sleeping, like a normal person.

_Cooper (9:10 am): Good. Blaine hasn't stopped asking me if I think Kurt is still there.  
_ _Cooper (9:12 am): link: U2 Beautiful Day  
_ _Cooper (9:12 am): blast this song to wake him up_

Santana (9:23 am): No

Santana (9:50 am): Kurt's awake. He's almost in tears and wants me to ask you if Blaine still wants to marry him.

_Cooper (9:51 am): Tell him Blaine just started crying and wailing "yes." There was probably more about Kurt being the love of his life and never wanting anyone else, but I couldn't really understand it._

Santana (9:52 am): Only 9 more hours of this.

_Cooper (11:11 am): Blaine wants to know if Kurt got his wedding gift._

Santana (11:12 am): Tell him he's currently blubbering over it.

_Cooper (11:13 am): Blaine wants to know if Kurt liked it._

Santana (11:13 am): Jesus Christ  
Santana (11:14 am): Tell him I can't tell because Kurt won't talk to me and just keeps hugging it.

Santana (11:14 am): Kurt wants to know if Blaine liked his gift.

_Cooper (11:16 am): Tell him Blaine probably loved it, but he won't let go of Sam and stop telling him how amazing Kurt is._

Santana (11:25 am): Are you wearing your suit yet?

_Cooper (11:25 am): No_

Santana (11:26 am): Send a pic

_Cooper (11:29 am): 1 image attachment_

Santana (11:30 am): OH MY GOD I MEANT A PICTURE OF YOUR SUIT I AM GAY  
Santana (11:31 am): But objectively speaking, that is quite nice.

_Cooper (11:34 am): 2 image attachments_

Santana (11:35 am): Thanks for the pic of the suit  
Santana (11:35 am): But if you send me another dick pic, those pictures will be all you have left of it.

_Cooper (11:36 am): Feel free to send some back ;)_

Santana (11:37 am): God I hate you  
Santana (11:37 am): p.s. Kurt saw your D when he was looking for the suit picture.

_Missed call from Cooper (9)_

_Voicemail from Cooper (3)_

Santana (11:40 am): Why in the world would you tell Blaine what I told you? He panic called me nine times. Nine. He's convinced Kurt's not going to marry him because he wants to hook up with you.  
Santana (11:41 am): Tell Blaine there's nothing to worry about. Kurt has no interest in sleeping with you. In fact, when he saw the picture, he shrugged and said, "meh. Not the first time I've seen it. Hasn't gotten better since the last time." I will spare you and not tell what else he said.

_Cooper (11:42 am): First of all, rude. Second, I'm sorry, I'm keeping a better hold on my phone from now on. Third, you have to tell me what else he said. This affects my fragile male ego._

Santana (11:44 am): your funeral. He said "Blaine's is way bigger anyway. He's gonna dick me down real good tonight." I TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW.

_Cooper (11:46 am): Ouch.  
_ _Cooper (11:46 am): Blaine is gloat-twerking in my face now_

Santana (11:48 am): You deserve that

_Cooper (12:17 pm): Blaine wants to know if Kurt's lunch was good._

Santana (12:18 pm): Tell him it tasted like shit.

_Cooper (12:46 pm): Blaine wants to know if Kurt has changed his mind about getting married._

Santana (12:47 pm): Tell him probably, since it's been more than 6 minutes since the last time he checked.

Santana (2:15 pm): Now Kurt wants to know if Blaine still wants to marry him.

_Cooper (2:16 pm): Tell him I don't really care anymore.  
_ _Cooper (2:18 pm): Blaine wants to know if you showed Kurt the picture Tina sent of the flowers in the arch._

Santana (2:33 pm): I want to know if Blaine has a death wish.  
Santana (2:34 pm): Tell him he's very lucky it's his wedding day because on any other day this bullshit would be unacceptable.

_Cooper (3:30 pm): You look smoking hot in that dress._

Santana (3:31 on): Yes I do. Unfortunately you also look great.  
Santana (3:32 pm): I'd let you bone me if I was straight and also if you weren't a fucking idiot.

_Cooper (3:33 pm): I take offense to that. I'm totally hot enough for a lesbian one night stand. The other thing is irrefutable._

Santana (3:38 pm): No means no. I still hate you.

_Cooper (4:00 pm): You don't hate me. I brought you pot brownies last night. And I hand delivered AND steamed your dress yesterday._

Santana (4:02 pm): You do have some redeeming qualities.

_Cooper (5:50 pm): Blaine wants to know if you successfully brought Kurt to the venue.  
_ _Cooper (5:52 pm): Well, did you?  
_ _Cooper (5:53 pm): ...  
_ _Cooper (5:54 pm): Santana?_

Santana (5:54 pm): For god's sake, of course he's here. Tell Blaine to get ready to marry his soulmate.

_Cooper (5:55 pm): You're the best, sexy mamacita._

Santana (5:56 pm): I can't believe they paired us together for the processional as if they thought we might get along.

_Cooper (5:56 pm): You love me._

Santana (6:16 pm): Are you crying?

_Cooper (6:17 pm): No._

Santana (6:18 pm): It's actually very sweet. Your baby brother is getting married.

_Cooper (6:19 pm): Shut up._

_Cooper (7:41 pm): I saw you laughing during my speech._

Santana (7:42 pm): Laughing at how stupid you sounded, maybe.

_Cooper (8:59 pm): Did you save a dance for me?_

Santana (9:00 pm): Are you going to grab my ass when we're dancing?

_Cooper (9:01 pm): ...No_

_Cooper (9:33 pm): admit thar yu dont hate mr_

Santana (9:34 pm): You're not as big of an idiot or sleazebag as I thought. How did you get so drunk? I've heard stories about what happens when you do this…

Santana (11:12 pm): 1 video attached  
Santana (11:12 pm): Please watch this when you wake up tomorrow and die of embarrassment. Not many people can say they did a striptease at their brother's wedding to "Get Low"

_Cooper (10:04 am): Oh no._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention at the beginning of chapter 1 that yes, this takes place in 2020, no, covid doesn't exist in this verse, and yes, the dates were decided on pre-pandemic. Enjoy a fictional break from the real world.

_From Tina Cohen-Chang  
_ _May 30, 2020  
_ _Wedding Ceremony_

Happy wedding day, Kurt and Blaine! When you read this, you'll be back from your honeymoon, but from where I'm sitting, you're just about to get married!

I was here obscenely early to painstakingly decorate the benches, aisle, and arch with hundreds and hundreds of tiny flowers (you're welcome), and I'm about to head back to where we will walk to our reserved seats for the ceremony. I'm sorry I was a little salty when you said you didn't want a bridal party standing with you. At least my reaction was nothing like Rachel Berry's epic tantrum.

The weather couldn't be more gorgeous and the sun is just starting to set over the lake while we wait for you to walk down the aisle. Your guests keep commenting on the beautiful blue water lilies floating in the lake behind the arch where you'll get married in just a few minutes, and I can't stop the giggles from coming out because of what you told me. You two are something else. I mean, between Troy officiating and decorating the lake with the national flower of Egypt...you're really embracing how you met.

I've reached the group. Santana looks ready to kill everyone. Be glad you're in your groom-to-be hidey holes.

Here we go. The cellist just started to play. By the time you read this email, the surprise will be out of the bag, so it's safe to say can't wait to hear the song Blaine chose for the two of you to walk down the aisle to. I must go walk arm-in-arm with Sammy now. I'll continue writing when I get to my seat. Thank goodness there are pockets in these dresses. Thank goodness you let me design our dresses. Thank goodness for me.

Oh Blainey, this day is everything you ever wanted. Nobody expected you to be the groomzilla when wedding planning, but you surprised us all. Be very grateful that your fiancé (I can almost say husband!) is so accommodating when it comes to you.

There you are! You're glowing like the sun. You look incredible. I'm sure Kurt looks great too, but I can't actually see him very well because I'm crying too much already.

I'm going to do my best to capture your vows now. I'm sure they'll be nothing short of remarkable, just like the two of you.

" _Kurt, I had a whole speech written, but to be completely honest, I forgot it at home."_

Welp, so much for remarkable.

" _And plus, our relationship started with me rambling aimlessly about the most outrageous things and making the biggest fool out of myself humanly possible, so why shouldn't our marriage start the same way? You know I love you so much, and I'd do anything for you. I mean, look, I'm letting my sort-of-ex officiate our wedding because you weirdly became best friends with him after assuming his identity for a couple months, which almost tore apart our relationship before we ever even had one. And then you convinced me to become best friends with him too and he's killing it tonight, so I guess the moral of the story is you're always right, which brings me to my first vow._

_"I promise to always listen to your ideas. Also, I promise never to make you go for a run with me again, because it was truly a miserable experience for both of us. I promise to let you name our next pets even though Hallmark and Otis are the cutest names on the face of the planet and you secretly love it when I sing 'You Make My Dreams Come True' to them. I promise not to forget to ask Meryl Streep for her autograph if I ever see her again. I have no excuse for that one. I promise to stop stealing your cozy socks. Actually no, I can't promise that. But I do promise to stop eating all of the m &ms and only the m&ms out of the trail mix bag even though you complain about refined sugars when I don't. I promise to always bake oatmeal cookies with you when you're stressed out and then eat all of them over 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' which weirdly calms your nerves. But above all, I promise to uphold our most sacred and time-honored tradition; I promise to never stop sending you emails. Oh, and also to love you no matter what because you are and will always be the best thing in my life._

_"I'm helpless without you, really, and that's fine by me because I'll be by your side forever."_

You made Kurt and yourself laugh and cry at the same time with that one, Blaine. I'm sure Kurt will have us all in tears by the time he's done. He's had the perfect speech planned for months now.

" _Wow, how can I follow that up with a scripted speech?"_

Oh my, oh no. Kurt is tossing out his notecards. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Good thing we know he's the more eloquent one of the two of you.

" _Oh Blaine. That is precisely why I love you. You make me do spontaneous, questionable things so I can be as ridiculous as you are. I was going to promise you things like support in your weakest moments, open and honest communication at all times, and fighting for us no matter what life throws at us, but you asked for it._

_"I promise never to pretend to be someone I'm not because, well...that one speaks for itself. I promise never to go running with you again, but to always cheer you on at your races with gigantic hand painted banners that say 'RUN LIKE THE WIND, ASS KING!' When we have a kid, I promise to carefully consider your family middle name tradition before promptly throwing it all the way in the trash. I promise to always save a front-row seat for you at my shows. I promise to buy you your own damn pair of cozy socks so you can stop stealing mine. I promise not to get mad when you spoil movie endings for me even when it's my birthday and it's a movie I've been dying to see for weeks but couldn't make it to because of my work schedule and you saw it with our friends without me. I promise to always join in Anderson men sing-alongs at family gatherings. And above all, I, too, promise to uphold our most sacred and time-honored tradition; I promise to never stop sending you emails._

_"Blaine, you're the best thing I never knew I needed, which, yes, is a line from that Ne-Yo Princess and the Frog song, but it is also the truth. You showed up in my life in the most unexpected way, and you keep surprising me in the best ones. I love you."_

Aaldkfkslffgh kljebfk snxkclflm

That was so cute I died on my phone's keyboard. It couldn't have been more perfect.

Time for you to exchange rings now, which I know Blaine has been waiting for his whole life. He's never going to take off that ring, Kurt. He'll grow old and gain 80 pounds and it will grow into his skin and he'll gladly announce to everyone he meets that he's the RingMan. I know how proud he is to be your husband, and I know you're equally as proud to be his.

Wow, okay, that was a dirty first kiss as husband and husband. These things should no longer surprise me.

I have to go set up to sing at the cocktail hour now! This day is amazing so far, and the party is bound to be out of this world. Thank you for letting me be a part of your special day.

Love you both!

Tina

* * *

_From Troy_  
_May 30, 2020  
_ _Wedding Reception_

You are married! By me. I married you. Never really thought I'd say that, but unpredictability is the spice of life or something like that. Joking aside, I honestly can't thank you enough for allowing me to do that for you two. I'm still not sure why you did, because I could have fucked it all up for you big time. Luckily I didn't. Although I almost velociraptor screamed when Blaine said he forgot his vows at home. How very Blaine. Yet just like always with the two of you, it all worked out. Thank god — you could have ruined my big moment. Just kidding. Sort of.

The main reason I'm thankful is because you gave me prime visibility by having me officiate, and during the cocktail hour alone, I've been hit on by almost every single man and woman at the wedding. So I'll be forever in your debt, because I'm definitely getting laid tonight!

Anyway, we're snacking on hors d'oeuvres, listening to some of our friends sing, and waiting for the happy couple (you) to make their entrance. The food is fantastic, by the way, and you know that's most of the reason I'm here.

P.S. I may never forgive you for seating me at a table with Rachel. You know she's just [insert unnerving screeching sound] for me, and her + Jesse is like living on a hell planet with no escape. They're already plotting how to take over the mic for a show stopping duet. Why couldn't you have put me with Santana?

Here you come now! Oh my god, you guys totally just hooked up in the dressing room, didn't you? Oh yep. Santana just catcalled and then she and Cooper yelled "get it, nasty groom boys!"

You can thank Carole and Pam later for shutting them up and saving you from (further) humilitation.

I'll be back in a little bit to recap the speeches.

...

Damn this food is good. Speeches are over, and it's time for me to make a spectacle of myself by shoveling as much food into my mouth at once as possible.

Burt was the first to speak. He was funny and relatable as always, and talked about how he always wondered if Kurt would be able to have a day like this with a man he loved. He had Kurt in tears pretty much from the moment he opened his mouth. Mercedes went next. She said the most beautiful, emotional things, and then sang her toast, so we're all still picking our jaws up off the ground from that..

Then last, but nobody can tell them they're least, Cooper & Thom tag teamed a speech. I can't imagine you'll ever forget, but just in case you need a refresher, it went a little something like this.

_Thom: Good evening guys and gals!_

_Cooper: And nonbinary pals!_

_Thom: Welcome to the Hummel-Anderson wedding! We're so glad you're here to celebrate our queers!_

_Cooper: you'll have to excuse him. There is no justification, just do it anyway._

_Thom: If you don't know the tale of how Kurt and Blaine met, we will now give you some of the finer points of the story. But first, we need to introduce someone integral to the story. He may look familiar, and that's because you know him from the ceremony as the officiant. Troy Levison, our bisexual beauty, please stand up so we can give you the credit you deserve._

Yes, he really did that. Then when I waved instead of standing, Jesse hauled me to my feet, literally picking me up by the armpits and showing me off to the other guests. Never forgive.

_Cooper: to avoid confusion, from here on out Troy will be referred to as Troy, and Kurt pretending to be Troy — yes, you heard that right — will be known as "Troy." [massive, whole-arm air quotes]_

_Thom: now here's the tea —_

_Cooper: the tl;dr version —_

_Thom: Troy and Blaine had been on a couple dates and Troy was headed off to Egypt to study abroad. He said…_

I shit you not, Jesse started moving me like a marionette. Never forgive.

_Thom (talking in a poor impression of my voice): I don't really like Blaine like that, but I'll lead him on for a while from the other side of the world. But I don't want to put any work into it. I know! I'll hire a letter writing service to keep in touch with him!_

_Cooper: Cue "Troy," who works for said service. Rachel, please._

Will this nightmare never end? Rachel started manhandling Kurt.

_Cooper (in a poor impression of Kurt's voice): Score! I get to pretend to be a guy named Troy writing to his exceptionally hot boyfriend. Must be something in his genes to be that sexy. I bet he has a brother who is equally as good looking. Damn. I hope he's gay. Anyway, I'll be very professional about this and even though Blaine is literally my dream man, I will not fall in love with him whilst pretending to be his boyfriend._

_Thom: It took less than a month for "Troy's" resolve to crumble._

_Cooper: I found out about "Troy" shortly after that. I made an impromptu visit to Blaine and caught him having weird feelings. He was all like—_

Oh no, Sam was in on it too. Sorry, Blaine. Your turn to be the subject of puppetry.

_Cooper (in a scarily accurate impression of Blaine's voice): I'm too mopey dopey to talk to you, my talented and attractive big brother who I love very much and wish I could be. I got drunk and sent a naughty little email to "Troy" and now I'm worried he'll never talk to me again because no boy ever wants to hear all of the sexy things the guy they're flirting with wants to do to them._

To be fair, Cooper was right. Just this once.

_Cooper: So I forced him to tell me the whole story. He did, eventually "Troy" got back to him and Blaine's brain fell back in place, and he begged me not to tell Mom and Dad about his new beau. I agreed._

_Thom: But the story's not over, my little Klainers. Naturally, Cooper called us as soon as he left Blaine's apartment. We were thrilled, to say the least. In college, Blaine had a couple boyfriends that he sounded serious about, but they never lasted long enough for him to bring them home to Papa. This new one sounded promising if they were keeping a new relationship alive from all the way across the world._

_Cooper: Little did we know, "Troy" wasn't Troy at all. Eventually, "Troy" came to his senses. After Blaine said "I love you" for the first time, Kurt freaked out and said "I'm not Troy after all, I'm just a creepy guy pretending to be him, hope that's not too much of a problem, but just in case, I'm deactivating this fake email address so you can't tell me how horrible of a person I am!"_

_Thom: Blaine was as furious as a conservative thinking about marriage equality._

_Cooper: He was, at first. Then he was in a state of stunned disbelief. Then denial. Then finally, acceptance. He realized it didn't matter who Kurt was, or that he'd been lying the whole time, because it didn't change his feelings toward him. The problem was now that Blaine had no way to reach Kurt to tell him that. He knew nothing about Kurt except that his name was Kurt._

_Thom: Here's where Troy comes in. Kurt also emailed Troy to tell him about the tangled, convoluted mess he'd made...from his personal email address. Troy, being the selfless weirdo he is, said, "maybe I should give Blaine Kurt's email address just in case he wants to stop dating me and fall in love with him and then eventually get married and maybe we'll all be friends and they'll ask me to perform the ceremony. That'd be cool."_

_Cooper: So Blaine emailed Kurt telling him about his revelation and that his feelings remained, and, because fate had to intervene multiple times throughout their courtship, they ran into each other in person._

_Thom: Kurt groveled, Blaine accepted, they both confessed their love, some other stuff we probably don't want to know about, and a few months later, we were meeting Mr. Right._

_Cooper: It was my parents' annual New Year's Eve blowout—_

_Thom: Always a rager—_

_Cooper: And even though we wanted to hate Kurt, we realized right away we never could. We finally got to see all the best parts of what Blaine experienced every day, and to this day we're still seeing those parts. Kurt takes amazing care of him; he constantly makes Blaine sweaty with how good he looks, which, if you know Blaine, isn't actually shocking; he follows Blaine into ridiculousness at least once a day (see: vows); he flatters Mom, doesn't question Dad, and laughs at my antics._

_Thom: From being ready to throw you to the wolves when we all realized your charade, to instantly adoring you, to realizing your relationship was the real deal, we couldn't be happier that you are the one Blaine chose._

_Cooper: Kurt, we don't blame you for falling in love with our boy._

_Thom: Troy, we thank you profusely for accidentally bringing these two together._

_Cooper: And Blaine, we are over the moon to see you so happy. Kurt is your perfect match._

_Thom: And ours. We love you, Kurt!_

_Cooper: Sorry about that, Thom is the biggest Kurt stan in the room. But we do, Kurt. We love you and we couldn't have imagined a better person to love our Blaine. Raise your glasses to the newlyweds!_

And that, my dear married friends, is how we all died of embarrassment at your wedding.

Troy


End file.
